Probe Flops, Trump Rallies

President Trump celebrated his exoneration in the Mueller Report by holding a rally in Grand Rapids to a packed crowd on Thursday.

Trump gloated over the report’s findings, saying “After three years of lies and smears and slander, the Russia hoax is finally dead…the collusion delusion is over.”

The release of Special Council Mueller’s long-awaited report brought a collective sigh of relief to the Republican party along with Trump faithfuls who had grown weary of waiting for the president’s name to be cleared.

Trump returned to fine form as the Troll-in-Chief, taking shots at his detractors to the roar of an energized audience. Referring to congressman Adam Schiff, who has obsessively dogged the president for months in his role overseeing the House Intelligence Committee, he said “They’re giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Little pencil-neck Adam Schiff. He’s got the smallest, thinnest neck I’ve ever seen.”

The president’s remarks on Robert Mueller were reminiscent of comments he made about disgraced former FBI Director James Comey. “It’s interesting,” he said. “Robert Mueller was a god to the Democrats. He was a god to them until he said ‘no collusion.’ They don’t like him so much now.”

Taking shots at the “faithless elites” in Washington, Trump took the opportunity for self-congratulation, claiming “I have a better education than them. I’m smarter than them. I went to better schools than them. Much more beautiful house. Much more beautiful everything.”

He stopped just short of saying his wife is more beautiful than the homely hags who have attached themselves to most career politicians, but the message was delivered loud and clear.

Summarizing the long, drawn out investigation, the president had this to say: “The Russia witch hunt was a plan by those who lost the election to try and illegally gain power by framing innocent Americans. Despite this phony corrupt disgusting cloud we’ve done more together in the first two years than any administration in history.”

It was an exhilarating event for the Trump-can-do-no-wrong cult of personality surrounding him. Supporters welcomed the chance to jab a thumb in the eye of the spiteful democrats who have been hounding this presidency since the day he was sworn in. The more serious observers, however, are left wondering if Trump will return to the attack posture he took during the campaign, before he is neutered by the election year and relegated to lame duck status. They are still watching and waiting, hoping for some kind of sign that they will get any number of the things they were promised during the campaign, which have yet to materialize.

Leave a comment

Please Login to comment
Notify of